“Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household,”- Ephesians 2:19

The word for the day...or last couple of weeks really, has been 'devotion'. I came across it in 1 Corinthians "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit". This is a scary verse as it makes me think of nuns, habits and solitary confinement. It's also quite exciting because it kind of gives me a head start on married people to knowing what God's affairs are. Jesus did what he saw the father doing because he could see what the father was doing. With a bit of luck and a following wind maybe one day I'll see it too.

“I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”- Psalm 116:1-2

I remember when I was about 16 or 17 I was cycling up the road to school and I thought to myself, 'What is it going to be like being a christian when I'm forty?' I thought about being married to a christian and having children and being part of a church and there being a whole load of teenagers like I was then at this church and just tried to figure out how I would feel. I remember thinking that I'm bound to be a lot more sorted, secure etc and I remember thinking that I'll be happy. I had quite a volitile relationship with God when I was a teenager and didn't really know if I would still have a faith by then.

Well I'm not forty but I'm much closer to it than I was then and already I feel I've achieved some of those things (obviously not the husband and children thing). I've made it 13 years and they must have been the hardest, so I'm more confident that I will still be a Christian in 14 years (yes folks thats all I have left until I'm forty) and as the verse says ,'will call on him as long as I live.'

The photo was taken by my friend Ana as part of a prayer thing we're gonna do for the glos thing on sunday - lush isn't it!?

*sigh*

“ Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. ”- Luke 12:6-7

I don't often get scared or worried about the things of life....but the other day I was really challenged by God to think about what is the biggest dream I have, that if I completely devoted my life to him would mean I might have to give up.....well that was awful and I realised that I possibly haven't given my whole life to God...I'm still keeping bits back from him....then I got scared about the future....

After a bit of a cry, I remembered that God only wants goodness for me and even if that biggest hope does not come true there is nothing to be scared of and I have to believe more than anything that God's way is soooo much better than mine.

well hello there!

so, I'm on a diet. It's official. I'm going to stop moaning about how fat I am and stop eating stuff that makes me fat.....it's a good job I like celery and nuts!

So I met a girl today who was 18. She has been a drug addict, don't really know if she still is. She is homeless. She had a house once but some people stole her keys, copied them and started squatting in her house so the council took the house back. Her stuff has been set on fire on a number of occasions. She needs £15 a night for a B&B that don't always give the breakfast. She has depression and an eating disorder. She has a child but not in her care. She's been raped while living on the streets. She has friends who smoke crack in the presence of thier babies, leave them to cry and leave needles hanging around the lounge. She told social services and no longer has these friends. Her sister died when she was about 17. Today she was crying because no one had stopped and those that did were calling her a dirty druggy. She gets benefit but she's had so many crisis loans that by the time the repayments are taken off her weekly amount, she gets about £20 a week. She met someone a couple of weeks ago who told her about God. He prayed with her and she talked to God for the first time and since then (other than today) things have been looking up. Her only dream is that she will get a house again so she can have her child back and be a mother again.

have a drink with cheese

“This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”- Jeremiah 33:2-3

How amazing, where to start....today when I pray I'm going to do that. They say that you learn something new everyday, and today I want to learn about a great and unsearchable thing!

"Really, I would have said dungarees"

“ You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. ”- Psalm 119:114

I so wish the Word of God was more deeply rooted in me. I have many other refuges on my list of refuges before I go to God. I rarely let Him protect me when I need to and right now I'm embarking on something which means any hope I did have in his word has fallen ever so slightly by the wayside and is being put elsewhere.

On a lighter note I think I have finally found the perfect flat - it's truly gorgeous, so much so that I'm not going to resent moving from a house to a 1 bed flat...oooh I have a photo....its the flat with the bay window on the ground floor.